Sunday, August 11, 2013

Snippet from the junior high lunch room

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As if my life didn't resemble a junior high lunch room enough already .....

The other day Elvira, Coraline and I went to Kroger. Coraline fell asleep in the van, so when we got here to my house, Elvira and I unloaded the groceries, and then Elvira sat outside on the porch with the van slider open so Coraline could finish her nap.

In the meantime, my neighbor's mid-20's brother, who lives with her off and on, was chasing her 7-year-old son Nathan down the street and terrorizing him, much to his delight. The uncle is a friendly guy, always says hi, but he's been in some trouble recently according to his sister. Got involved with a bad woman ... trouble with the police .... I'm not sure what his story is. But he's always friendly with me, so I don't care.

Sometime later Coraline had awakened from her nap, and we were all in the kitchen eating baba ganoush on Nut Thins and caramel-filled dark Bliss chocolates when the doorbell rang. Elvira was closest so she answered it.

It was Nathan. He hadn't expected Elvira to answer the door. He stammered mightily, "Hey .... um .... um .... would you tell .... ummm .... umm ...." He peeked his head in the door looking for me.

"My mom?" Elvira said helpfully, hoping to move the conversation along. She didn't trust me with the chocolate.

"Ummm .... yeah .... her .... Would you .... ummm .... tell her my uncle has a big crush on her daughter?" And then he ran off the porch and back to his own house.

Elvira and I shared a good laugh over that one. Mostly about how cute Nathan was in the pajama pants he always wears and how flustered he was to come face to face with his uncle's crush. We decided Rock Dad didn't need to feel threatened.

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang again. Elvira shrugged and motioned that it was my turn. Her mouth was too full of chocolate to talk.

I walked to the door and sure enough, there was Nathan on the porch in his pajama pants. I opened the door and smiled at him.

"Do you know my uncle has a big crush on your daughter?" he said.

"Yes, that's what I heard," I said. He took off running. "Nathan," I called after him, "she has a boyfriend." He nodded, but didn't look at me. "And a baby." He nodded again and ran on home.

I went back to the kitchen and told Elvira I hoped that situation didn't get more awkward than it already was. I said, "This feels like junior high. And really! Can Nathan's uncle spell 'out of his league'?"

"It's spelled E-l-v-i-r-a," she said. And we both laughed and reached for more chocolate.

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