Monday, October 7, 2013

Dear Anonymous,

Two fellow bloggers are blogging every day this month just like I did last month. They've given each other several prompts they can use if they get stuck. I wish I'd thought of that idea.

One of their prompts struck me as an interesting exercise, so I decided to do it too.

"Pick 10 people and write out one thing you [wish] you could say to them. Do not identify who the people are. Just write them in list form. A number and then what you want to say."

1. I know you think you’re too fat and you never do enough, but to me you’re perfectly you, and I love you just as you are. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You'd want to be your own best friend. You really are exactly the person you're supposed to be.

2. I hope this isn’t going to end as horribly for you as I’m afraid it will.

3. You aren’t even close to the character you pretend to be. Life isn’t a play. We all know who you are behind that mask …. and frankly, the mask isn't a hell of a lot prettier.

4. You can give up. That was never going to happen anyway.

5. You’re a grown up. It’s time to stop trying to be one of the cool kids. If it didn’t happen in high school, it doesn’t matter now. It never really mattered then either.

6. I miss you. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend.

7. I’m sorry you had to choose. And I'm sorry you made the wrong choice.

8. Being jealous of the woman who rejected your boyfriend/husband makes no sense at all. I didn’t want him. That leaves him available for you. You should be on your knees.

9. Some things I won’t forgive without a sincere apology. Some things I won’t forgive ever. You should try the apology though and see how it turns out.

10. I’m proud of you for following your dreams. I wish I could be more like you. You inspire me.

11. Thank you for being in my life. If I haven't said that, I should have.

As I read this list, I'm struck by a couple of things. First, I can't follow orders although these are supposed to be specific to one person, several of them are things I could say to more than one person. They're like a daily horoscope. Only a couple of them are entirely specific.

Second, I doubt most of the people I had in mind when I wrote these will read them, although it's more likely with the positive ones. I realized as I wrote these, this exercise is mostly about the past. If you're reading these, they probably aren't meant for you ... unless you think you're numbers 1, 10, and 11. In that case, hellz yeah those are about you!

 Third, and finally, I could have written an entire list of nasty things I want to say to certain nasty people (although I'm not sure there are as many as 10 certain nasty people), but I tried to add some balance so it wouldn't be an entire bitch-fest. I may even have cheated, because I've said those nice things to a significant number of people, and maybe I was even thinking of those people when I wrote them. The directions don't say it has to be a secret though. And I'm not going to be hard on myself about the mean things, because it proves that I tend to tell people the nice things I want to say, and I keep to myself the uglier things I'd say if I allowed myself to go there. Some of these could have been a lot harsher and crueler, but I'd rather not focus that much energy and attention on people I feel that way about.

I'm not sure I'll leave this list up. No offense to the other bloggers, but it feels a bit passive aggressive. And yet, it's also kind of cathartic to say some things aloud. Let me know what you think about it.

Want to give it a try? Post your own list of 10 things you'd like to say to 10 different people in the comment section below. I promise I won't take any of them personally if you won't!

(Photo credits: and


  1. Please don't delete this. It's good. It feels good. BUT, the nice things you haven't said to those people, tell them. That would be good too.

    1. A significant number of people asked me to leave it, so I'm going to. The funny thing is that nobody else shared a list, mostly because they were afraid people would recognize themselves. For every one of mine, I could think of more than one person I could say that to ... if I cared to.

      I'm actually pretty good at saying those nice things. I could always say nice things more often though.