Day 30: 44 Things

I don't know why I'm compelled to do this silly thing tonight. I used to love reading these when people would do them on Facebook. That was back before people could click a button and share an article or a video, back before my Facebook feed looked like the evening news. In the midst of all of that sharing, I noticed a friend had taken the time to do this tonight, so I decided to do it too. Since I didn't have time to write both this and a blog post, it's going to be a blog post whether it wants to be or not. Feel free to add your own in the comments. I'd love to read them.

44 Odd (and not so odd) Things You Don't Know About Me

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. And all of blue cheese's cheesy cousins too.
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes. I still miss it sometimes, even though I quit decades ago. I still dream that I've started smoking again. I think it's because I grew up thinking smoking was something adults should do. Also, it's a bitch of an addiction.
3. Do you own a gun? No. I just stick my index finger out and my thumb up and say, "Pow! Pow!"
4. What is your favorite flavor? Chocolate. I hate having to choose favorites though because I also like banana, strawberry, grape, blueberry, carrot, potato chip, and wine flavors. 
5. Do you get nervous before doctor visits? Usually. Not so much now that I've found out she'll treat me much better if I let her think I'm a retired Lt. Col. It's not my fault they fucked up my records.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They're disgusting. I buy the ones without nitrates -- or is it nitrites? -- that are supposed to be better and cost the earth. Mostly I don't eat them, and I don't feed them to Coraline either.

7. Favorite Movie? I hate choosing favorites. I'll say Sound of Music although Crossroads (the one about the blues) is a close second. I've watched the cutting head scene at least 100 times. I'll post it below. White Christmas is a good one too, as is Prancer.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water, if I have to drink in the morning. I prefer to sleep in the morning.

9. Do you do pushups? Do I look like I do pushups? Fuck, no. Pushups are hard on my wrists and make me feel clumsy and weak.

 10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? A little silver J that I used to wear all the time until the chain broke. It reminds me of who I want to be. I also have a queen necklace, but I think I'm allergic to the metal.
11. Favorite hobbies? So many. Playing music, gardening, reading, cycling, socializing, karaoke, crocheting, collage/art journaling, acting. I'll post some of my hobby art soon.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Probably, but I've never been diagnosed. I never get done all that I want and even need to get done.

13. What’s the one thing you dislike about yourself? One thing? See #12. I could go on and on and on, but why do so? The thing I berate myself most about is not writing enough though. So I'll say that one, because being overweight is so trite and most of us dislike that about ourselves.

14. What is your middle name? Jo. 
15. Name three thoughts at this moment. This is probably a really stupid thing to post on my blog. Standing on concrete all day in a hot market with no AC apparently destroyed enough brain cells that this is all I can write tonight. I need to go to bed earlier tonight than I usually do. I think that every night.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water. Wine. The blood of innocents.
17. Current worry? Sending Coraline to all-day kindergarten in a couple of weeks.

18. Current annoyance? Once again I don't have enough hours in the day to answer this one, but I'll choose the way my neighbors park. Total disregard for their neighbors, while at the same time complaining about how there's not enough parking. It's pretty crazy. And annoying. Also, while I'm whining, I've had a rash under my eyes for weeks now, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to face #5.
19. Favorite place to be? My front porch with friends. But again, I have a lot of favorite places. The friends part is most important. The bike path along the river is a close second. Ugh. Favorites.
20. How do you ring in the new year? I usually go to a party with a large extended family of relatives and friends who have allowed me to be a part of their family. We consume many delicious homemade pizzas and lots of booze, sing karaoke, talk, laugh, toast with champagne, shoot off poppers, hug.

21. Where would you like to go? Ireland. Montana. Seattle. Arkansas. Anyplace.
22. Name three people who will complete this? I don't know. Surprise me.
23. Do you own slippers? Of course. I live in the midwest where we have winters. I own several pairs.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Really? Black. 
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Nah. Too cold and slick. Egyptian cotton for me. Or flannel in the winter.

26. Can you whistle? Certainly. I just put my lips together and blow. 
27. What are your favorite colors? Black, teal, and blue.
28. Would you be a pirate? Not unless I can be the captain.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? "Let It Go."

30. Favorite girl's name? Josephine.
31. Favorite boys name? Joe.

 32. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing, but only because my cell phone is beside me on the desk.

 33. Last thing that made you laugh? I was at a friend's house tonight, and his dad, who is in his 90's was telling us about hitchhiking across the country back when he was 16. He has some great stories.

34. Best toy as a child? When I was 4 my cousin bought me a guitar at the grocery store where he worked. He was in high school. I was visiting my aunt and uncle for a week, and she took me grocery shopping. I saw that little guitar up on the wall and I wanted it so bad. I might even have asked for it, although that wouldn't have been something I'd usually do. I didn't expect to get things. When my cousin came home from work that evening, he gave me the guitar. I was so thrilled. I took it home with me, and my mom made me let my cousins who lived up the street play with it the night I got home. One of them broke one of the strings. Of course. It's still one of the best toys anybody ever bought me.
35. Worst injury you ever had? I tripped and fell face first into a brick hearth. You don't want to hear the details. I lived though.
36. Where would you love to live? Dayton, Ohio. Although I've heard good things about Austin.

37. How many TVs do you have? One. Computers are another question.
38. Who is your loudest friend? I have lots of theater friends. Do you really want me to choose the loudest?
39. How many dogs do you have? One. Crow Cocker, a 90-pound autistic blackish standard poodle. He's a good dog. If only he could brush himself and pick the boogers out of the corners of his eyes.
40. Does someone trust you? I hope so. I try to be trustworthy.

41. What book(s) are you reading at the moment? American Gods, LaRose, and Short Takes: Brief Encounters with Contemporary Nonfiction. Plus Pippi Longstocking and a Pixie Hollow book with Coraline.

42. What’s your favorite candy? Dark chocolate with sea salt. Or salted caramel. Or homemade marshmallow. What's with this favorite shit?
43. What’s your favorite sports team? Wright State University Lady Raiders. 
44. Favorite month? Summer.

Now it's your turn! (Template in the comments.)

Weekend Update: Week 2

I can't get these weekend updates written on Sunday. Oh sure, it will look like I posted on Sunday because I'm going to lie and cheat tweak the date a bit, but I still have to make my confession here. Week 2: FAIL. Let me distract you with the cuteness of my granddaughter.

I stayed at Mamá's and all I got were these purple slippers. They weren't very tasty. In fact, they tasted like feet. I prefer booby.

•  Coraline spent the night Friday night--her first overnight with Mamá! I'll write more on that later in the week. For now I'll just say this time we got through it with only one fussy spell, about three cups of spit up, but no poopy diapers. And when I asked Elvira if she got laid, she said, Hell, yes, three times!* Oh, Elvira. You are your mother's daughter! I'm so proud.
•  Colorado was supposed to come for an overnight Saturday, but she got stuck at work. So instead I went to a last-minute party without her, where I filled up on homemade cheeseburger pizza**, homemade ice cream, cookies, cherry lambic, and karaoke. I gained three fucking pounds in one night. After hours of karaoke, we mellowed out the end of the evening by passing a three-foot-tall hooka. I may have been a little sleepy by the time I made my way through the cold to my van, but I woke up as soon as the engine fired up. In fact, I have no doubt the entire fucking neighborhood woke up because my muffler seems to have given up on this life. My van sounds like a B-52 eating up runway. My ears burned as I imagined the neighbors cursing me from their warm beds the whole long five minutes it took me to scrape a heavy layer of frost off my windows. Nothing shouts "trailer trash comin' down the street" like the sound of a blown out muffler. Nobody wants trailer trash in their neighborhood.

•  Sunday afternoon I took in a funny, charming play titled Heroes at a local community theater. It's a French play adapted by Tom Stoppard about three elderly men who live in an old soldiers home. I wasn't so sure a stone dog and three old guys sitting on a park bench talking would keep me awake, but I didn't close my eyes once. Probably because I slept through church .... no, I mean I didn't even get up and go. They have noise ordinances out there in the suburbs.

• Sunday night I went back to the classy downtown art theater for My Week with Marilyn, a movie based on two of Colin Clark's "memoirs."*** I liked the old guys on the bench better. I think the movie was meant to be precious and sweet in a "how I lost my innocence" sort of way, but what I saw in  Monroe's character was a typical addict fucking with other people's lives and then charming them out of their righteous anger. And the author, whether the story is true or not, came across as a  big old fawning co-dependent who welcomed being used so he could stand in line and feel self-important about "saving" Marilyn Monroe. For a whole fucking week. Even by writing this possibly fictional memoir, he still appears to be trying to be some kind of hero in her story, years later. If there's any truth to it at all, it's that the people around Monroe were the ones who needed to be saved from the effects of her behavior--typical of alcoholics and addicts-- coupled with her cruel charisma--again, typical. The one bright spot was Kenneth Branagh playing Olivier, but he's fucking Kenneth Branagh playing Olivier. How could he fail? I'm much more looking forward to seeing the fearless Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs. By the time My Week with Marilyn was over, I was looking forward to grading a monster stack of papers.

• Next I graded a monster stack of papers.

 Weekend Wrap-Up

What made me laugh: 

And what made me say "Hey, I did that shit once and I had the bruises to prove it!":

That's it for tonight. Have a great week!


* Comment deleted by the Reticulated Censor.
** Ground beef, onions, pickles, mustard and the usual tomato sauce and cheese. It was a mouth orgasm.
*** Some doubt has been cast as to their veracity. I have to say the movie seemed more like a young man's fantasy than reality, but who knows. He waited until after most of the characters were dead to publish his diaries.