I've been invited--along with a few hundred other people--to an industrial goth birthday/fetish party. No big deal. I've been to dozens of fetish parties. Former Girl Scout leaders are really popular at fetish parties because we know our knots.... Awww, fuck it. I admit it. I've never been to a fetish party. Not one. And now I feel like I'm sitting by myself at a long table in a crowded high school cafeteria reading my English lit textbook.
Believe it or not, I haven't decided if I'll go yet for three simple reasons. And if you'll please bear with me, I'd like to share them and get your advice.
2. Next, I'm not sure what I'd wear to a fetish party because a) this mamma doesn't go out dressed in a tight corset and garter belt like
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| Get your own, Elvira. You can't borrow mine. |
3. Even if I did knock off numbers one and two of this list, number three is a serious impediment to my fetish party enjoyment: I don't have anybody I want to go with. And since I started this, I'll be specific. I not only don't give out my number, I don't date, so I don't have anyone to go with, and I sure as hell am not going alone. Sure, I could take any number of friends -- hell a whole group of friends, definitely some family, and probably even a couple of enemies -- but in my perfect world, an adventure like this -- the story I'd want to tell -- would be more fun if I went with someone with whom I intended to share my fetish -- that would be cookies, of course -- later. A romantic partner. In my ideal world, I suppose I would choose an adventure buddy (or two, hee) from my stable of
OK, Dear Readers, these are my concerns. The invitation sits on my Facebook events page, awaiting my click. And I just can't decide. Should I go? What do you think? Tell me: would you go?
* Booty calls may apply at reticulatedsecretsexblog.org. Remember it's only $39.95 per month to join. A bargain you won't regret. Or if you're too cheap to join, you can email me, but I will certainly mock you.
Well, you're definitely more hip than I. I've never heard of a fetish party and would like you to explain exactly what they are. (Nevermind, I'm the Google Queen. I'm sure I'll figure it out.) That said, I think leather. You should wear buttery, curve hugging leather.
ReplyDeleteI unfortunately i can offer no advice. Those would be my 3 limitations as well.
ReplyDeleteSerenity, keep your eye on these comments. We're going to work it out. And then you can go too!
DeleteIs this a BYOF party? Or is the fetish revealed in advance?
ReplyDeleteRollo, definitely BYOF. I think all fetishes will be well represented. And there will probably be some I've never heard of, or maybe don't even recognize. I might need an interpreter....if I were to go.
DeleteJen, leather is a good idea. But leather what? I got rid of the leather pants years ago. I need a leather skirt, maybe.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Jennifer. I'm not so hip to know much about this at all.
ReplyDeleteBUT
...in the interest of your readers
...perhaps a trenchcoat is needed to go with those shoes
...definitely take some undercover photos with your phone
...maybe wear a mini-cam!!
...take a couple fun girlfriends
...definitely create code words to stay or to leave or to get you away from some weirdo
And report back to us with details of said event.
[If only there was an icon with eyebrows going up and down, that's what I'd put here!]
A trench coat! You want me to go as a flasher? From what I've heard, lots of people take photos and many of the participants love being photographed. I can't wear a minicam on my forehead though or you'd all know everything I looked at!
DeleteI get away from weirdos now by saying, "Go away. You are a weirdo." Sometimes it works. Other times I have to give them "the look." You know the look. The one that still makes Reticula clutch her cell phone because she's sure she's going to lose it for a week.
I still like the trench coat idea - it's the place to hide all your spy tools! lol I don't care what you wear underneath it. Whatever gets you through the door. You owe it to your readers!
DeleteCan't you just see the spike in blog visits?!?! :)
You're try to seduce me with stats, Sue. Do you really think I'm that easy??? (I am.)
DeleteI think the trench coat would be funny. I'd have to think very carefully about what I'd wear or not wear under it.
Just go ....you don't know until you go. Nothing will happen that will freak you out (too much). And you will certainly discover some things about yourself and others. Are you not a student of human nature?!
ReplyDeleteIf I were there we'd totes go together. And we could closet shop to come up w outfits ;-) GO. And report back.
Ha! Well, it's true I don't freak out very easily, and I'm a watcher. I have a feeling Elvira and Coraline would love going shopping for Mamá's first fetish party outfit. How many 6-month-olds can say they did that?
DeleteI just Googled "what is a fetish party" and you came up first on the list. Congratulations?
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine going to one, for a variety of reasons that I won't go into save for one: Not everyone who dresses in fetish clothing looks good in said clothing. If I want to see a middle-aged woman with stretch marks and pasty white skin and cellulite I'll just stay home and look on the mirror. At least I won't also have to look at some 300 pound guy in a leather thong and dog collar!
Indeed! See above! I would imagine I'll be much older than most of the party-goers for this one. However, it's not just the middle-aged women who sometimes shouldn't try to stuff that much woman into that little spandex.
DeleteAs for the guy.... ... ... I can't think of anything nice to say. You've seen that cartoon that's gone around FB, right? The one with the thin woman looking in the mirror and seeing a fat woman. And a fat guy looking in the mirror and seeing a young buff dude? Yep.
I can't believe I'm number one for the Google fetish party. Obviously more people need to be writing about them.
Is this like a Tupperware party for fetish products? Or is it an actual get-together for kinky folks? I've been invited to the latter and when I politely declined was assured I could attend and "just watch." Not being much of a voyeur, I again declined. I didn't want to sit on the sidelines and giggle uncontrollably. Thought it might break the mood of the party-goers.
ReplyDeleteIt's a big, public party where people can just come and be kinky. I haven't been yet so I can't predict everything that might happen. I would be surprised if anything surprised me, but I would also be delighted if anything surprised me. ;-)
DeleteI am definitely a voyeur--at least until I get bored.
Have you asked the person who invited you any of these questions?
ReplyDeleteThe person who invited me probably isn't going to go, but we did talk about my questions. I just need to put on my big girl panties and go.
DeleteWho knows, maybe you will meet someone interesting. If you do decide to go I have two words for you, hand sanitizer ;^)
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking Clorox wipes. I'm sure I could meet all kinds of interesting people. I tend to fit right in with the natives no matter where I go. ;-)
DeleteI just wanted to say I LOVE THE SHOES!!!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI know, right? My daughter Elvira is so pissed that I don't really own those shoes. She'd love to steal them.
DeleteGenerally a fetish party is less about the fetish and more about celebrating the scene and fashion of fetish. You get everyone from the guy in the gimp suit to the 6'6" cross-dressing giant(ess?) who didn't even know it was fetish night, he/she ALWAYS dresses up in a corset on Friday nights.
ReplyDeleteAnything sexy, a little risque, or a little naughty will usually do. Some black eyeliner, a tight shirt and a dark colored skirt mixes well with a hard stare and a knowing smirk. Play off the "teacher" vibe and hope they think "mistress." Put your horn-rims on. A rubber suit and gaudy accessories are for subs, and they're beneath your notice anyway.
Drake
Many moms say their sons are talented, but how many have sons who will help replace their brakes, fix their washers, let their mom kick their asses at Wii bowling and give fetish night wardrobe advice? Two thumbs pointing at this mom, that's who!
DeleteGot any advice on who to go with? (Nevermind.)