Monday, April 30, 2012

Snippet from the Pulpit: Boobs

I was scheduled to lead the worship service this morning at church, so I dressed up: conservative black dress pants, heels, a royal blue sweater* with a built-in white shirt with french cuffs. Front-of-the-church attire, or so I thought.

The service was unusual because I not only spoke from behind the pulpit, but also at a microphone on a stand directly in front of the congregation.

After the service ended, a friend came up to the front of the sanctuary to say hi and to introduce me to her mother, who was visiting from out of state. But before she even made the introduction she said, "You spoke very well today and I'm sure what you said was wonderful, but I could think was, 'I wonder what her boobs weigh.'"

I turned my back to the sanctuary, gave the girls a little heft and said, "I'm guessing maybe 10 pounds."

She said, "I can only wonder, but I'll tell you this: If you ever go on a date, wear that sweater."

And then she introduced me to her mom .... who didn't even ask.

* Photos and/or video available, but you have to buy me dinner first.


  1. That's too funny,and to think that I stayed home because I thought that my coughing would be a distraction! Her mom must not read your blog.

    1. I'm sure her mom doesn't read my blog. Hard to believe, but most people don't! ;-)

      Hope your cough gets better, poor sick Vapor.