Elektrotechnique from Lernert & Sander on Vimeo.
I was watching this video when I was struck by a brilliant idea: I'll have my own fetish party! I think I could do at least as well as the club I went to last Friday. I could make a bunch of these fetish sex machines using household appliances -- with the help of my geeky friends* -- and then I could put the machines in stations around my house, yard and garage. Each station would be manned by a volunteer voyeur fetish sex machine operator (fetishwear mandatory) who would be trained in the machine's operation to ensure the safety of the fetish party participants.
And -- tell me this isn't brilliant -- just to make it more interesting, each participant would be given a fetish card with a square that corresponds to each machine. After the party guest experiences the machine, the volunteer voyeur fetish sex machine operator would either apply a sticker on the square or punch a hole in it to show participation. At the end of the night, anyone who used every machine would win a prize! Like furry handcuffs or a puppy ears headband or dirty socks.
I'm so excited! I told Alex I wanted a do-over on that other fetish party, but he wasn't very optimistic. This is the perfect answer! If the club can't satisfy, I'll just fucking do it myself!
I only see a few tiny barriers to the actual realization of this party plan. Tiny, surmountable barriers.
1. I would need to collect several blow dryers and canister vacuum cleaners. I would not be willing to sacrifice my upright Dyson because you never know what I might have to clean up afterwards, and it was really fucking expensive. I think I have most of the rest of what I'd need around the house. If I don't, some of my neighbors don't bother to close their garage doors back there in the alley. I'm sure I could dig around and find what I need.
2. Watermelons aren't in season here in the Midwestern United States right now. However, since scavenging for materials and building the machines would take time, it's not unreasonable to plan a summer fetish party. I don't know how that would affect any potential rubber-suit wearers. If anybody has experience in this matter, please leave me a note in the comments. Also the plastic bag machine is out. That doesn't look safe to me.
3. I predict we would go through a significant number of tissues, paper towels, and potty pads. Do you think it would be unreasonable to charge a minimum cover price at the door or a suggested donation? I could keep expenses down by asking participants to bring a snack to share and BYOB and lube.
4. I don't know what that tube of lipstick is for. No matter how many times I watch this video, I can't figure it out. OK, and I don't know what the big pink balloon does either. I need a match-the-fetish cheat sheet before I start construction.
5. I confess this last one isn't so tiny after all. I don't think I know anybody who has a fetish.* Or at least, nobody has confided a fetish that would correspond to one or more of these machines. I do know a guy who, as a teenager, used to fill a plastic bag with mayonnaise, place it between his mattress and box spring and fuck it. I thought it was a creative way to masturbate. Early pocket pussy. I'm not sure he'd still be interested in doing that, although I intend to ask him if he'd be willing to take a shift as the volunteer voyeur fetish sex machine operator. Otherwise, I'm stumped for friends/acquaintances with fetishes. If I don't come up with guests, maybe I can't do better than the club after all. Sad face.
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| We'll need invitations, I suppose. |
NO! I refuse to give in to pessimism. Chins up, people! These 5 concerns are simply the kind of details you have to work out any time you put together a theme party. Now that I've put my intention out there, the Universe will supply the people and tools I need to achieve my goal. Miss Serendipity, you're on the planning committee now.
You know you want to come! What are you willing to do to help make
* If you are willing to help or want to attend, please leave a note in the comments detailing your fetish, your assembly skills, and when you'll be available to help construct the fetish sex machines. Also I lost the reciprocating saw in the divorce. If you have one you're willing to loan, please let me know.
