Snippet #1
Elvira: Oh shit,
Mommers. I still have your debit card.
Me: You
can give it to me tomorrow.
Elvira: Oh
good. So I have time to buy some ridiculous shit on ebay.
Me: Please
don't. Unless you want me to move in with you.
Elvira: I dunno
.... You cook, clean, and provide childcare ... Mmmk. You can bunk with
Coraline.
Me: I'll
want my own bedroom.
Elvira: I
guess you can have a pallet in the basement.
Me: Nope.
I'm still holding out the hope that I will get laid someday.
Elvira: Jeez,
Mom. Way to be needy.
Me: I've been
practicing....
Snippet #2
Me: [11:19
pm] Oh god. I'm craving butter popcorn so much. Would it be so
awful if I ate some buttered popcorn?
Elvira: I don't
care what you eat. Just don't bitch about it later.
Me: Oh, shut
up.
Oh. My. God. When did my
daughter become my mother?
