Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Texts with Elvira: issue 47

Tonight, a couple of snippets from texts between me and my daughter, Elvira, followed by a question I really want the answer to.

Snippet #1

Elvira: Oh shit, Mommers. I still have your debit card.
Me: You can give it to me tomorrow.
Elvira: Oh good. So I have time to buy some ridiculous shit on ebay.
Me: Please don't. Unless you want me to move in with you.
Elvira: I dunno .... You cook, clean, and provide childcare ... Mmmk. You can bunk with Coraline.
Me: I'll want my own bedroom.
Elvira:  I guess you can have a pallet in the basement.
Me: Nope. I'm still holding out the hope that I will get laid someday.
Elvira: Jeez, Mom. Way to be needy.
Me: I've been practicing....

Snippet #2

Me: [11:19 pm] Oh god. I'm craving butter popcorn so much. Would it be so awful if I ate some buttered popcorn?
Elvira: I don't care what you eat. Just don't bitch about it later.
Me: Oh, shut up.

Oh. My. God. When did my daughter become my mother?


  1. So funny! Love how the friendship between your adult daughter and you is so apparent. (Each the popcorn, life is short!!)

    1. There was a time during her teen years when neither of us could predict whether we'd ever be close again. I'm grateful it turned out that we could be best friends.

      And I DID eat the popcorn ... with a glass of wine. If you're gonna be bad, just go all the way, right? ;-)