Thursday, July 14, 2011

Preview of Upcoming Posts

How many posts can a blogger work on at one time? Right now I'm juggling four. These things don't write themselves, you know. I keep getting distracted other things: a 6-hour lunch at Panera today (so glad they don't charge by the hour), Eric Northman True Blood, Facebook status updates (they don't write themselves either), my empty glass of wine. I know blog posts should come first, but as my freshmen....and, come to think of it, 300-level too....students whiiiiiinnnnnne to me by the third week of every quarter, "Writing is haaarrrrrd."

"Suck it up or learn to speak garbled English into a headset," I tell them. "By the time you've said, 'Do you want fries with that?' a few thousand times, writing will seem like the privilege it is. Now burn this draft and start over. And next time, put it in paragraphs."

Here, in case you're interested, is a list of upcoming posts. No, you won't have to watch any commercials after this preview, but I figure if I make a public promise, I'll finish these sooner rather than later. Here's what I'm working on.
  1. Milk Licker Liqueur: Drink at Your Own Risk (with pornographic disgusting photos)
  2. People Like Cindy and Me: Coda (Did Cindy ever find her clitoris? Was it ever lost?)
  3. The Year of Square Dancing and My First Three-way (in that order)
  4.  You Can Call Me Grandmommers (Anybody who's read We Need to Talk About Kevin will be totally creeped out by that. If you haven't read it, you should. It will ruin your summer, but you can say you read a book by a truly great writer.)
Procrastinate? Who me? You think this is procrastinating? Just let me pour another glass of wine and tune my guitar, and I'll show you procrastination. (I'd be willing to entertain a vote on which one I should finish first.)


    1. Hurry up and post those interesting and entertaining blog posts!

    2. Trying! Dolores gives me little rest.