Wednesday, March 21, 2012

You want me to pee where?

I recently ran across this report from WKRC in Cincinnati about a 14-year-old girl who claims a San Diego high school art teacher refused to let her go to the bathroom. The journalist who wrote the article gave the impression the girl was forced to pee in a bucket in front of her classmates, some of them boys, and then dump her urine into an unused sink in the classroom. Ick.

I don't like to take one person's word for anything. Turns out the Cincinnati station twisted the facts just a bit by implication. I hate that. Another article from the LA Times adds that the girl was sent into another room to pee and dump. Alrighty then. That makes a lot more sense.

You knew I was being facetious, right? You have to be thinking the same thing I am: What the fuck is wrong with teenagers these days? I can't imagine this ever happening in my high school. It's ridiculous on so many levels.

First, unless this girl has a medical problem, what 14-year-old can't hold it for 20 minutes? I never went to the bathroom during class unless I was having a nicotine fit. There's no reason to leave class to go to the bathroom unless it's to smoke. Smart teachers fucking know this. If the girl had a medical problem, then the teacher should already know about it and then, of course, she could go to the bathroom. But OK, let's assume she really really had to go.

Second, has this girl had her balls cut off? If I had to pee bad enough to ask during class to go to the bathroom .... meaning everybody in class would know what I was going to do there, which was either number one or number two, which would be really fucking embarrassing ... and a teacher had told me to pee in a bucket, I would have told her to go fuck herself while I went to the office and called my mom. Who would then call my dad. And they both would be really pissed. (No pun intended.) And then I would toss a coin to predict whether they were going to be pissed at the teacher or at me. Either way, I would stop at the bathroom, pee and smoke a cigarette on my way to the office. If my parents were mad at the teacher, I'd have a free pass to smoke a cigarette every day that semester because she wouldn't be able to tell me I couldn't go. If they were mad at me, what else is new?

But I would never ever have peed in a bucket, not in the classroom or in the next unoccupied room. I would have peed on the floor, on her desk, or on her fucking shoes if I really had to go that bad. My tiny little bladder would burst before I would hang my ass over a bucket and do it when there was a perfectly good toilet within walking distance. I just wouldn't have done it. Not fucking happening.

Third, I can't imagine my classmates putting up with that shit either. If we'd ever had a teacher who treated another classmate that way, every hand in the class would go up and we'd all ask to go to the bathroom. We would have walked out with her. We would have staged a pee-in and all of us would have peed on the floor. Hell, we would have just distracted the teacher so the girl could slip out. I don't know. I just know most of us would not have stayed quiet and watched someone being abused like that.

Fourth, was the fucking teacher insane? Did she just want a vacation? Was she protesting some crazy system-wide ban on students leaving the classroom to go to the bathroom? Because otherwise who gives a shit if a kid goes to the bathroom? It's a fucking art class. The girl's life won't be ruined if she misses five minutes of art class because she has to pee. It took just as long for her to pee in the fucking bucket and dump it down the sink. Something doesn't make sense here.

And finally, what the fuck are her parents thinking? They're saying she was humiliated at school because other kids knew about it. So suing the school made it all better? The whole fucking world knows about it now! That's going to build her crumbled self esteem? I hope it's been worth it for the three years of private school tuition and the $25,000 her lawyers they hope to win in this case. Because that girl will forever be known as the girl who peed in a bucket in art class. Forever. Just imagine what it will say under her yearbook photo.

Why didn't they just teach their daughter that she should never pee in a bucket in class? Wouldn't that have been so much simpler? What am I missing here?


  1. would never have happened in my high school. i would have walked out, used the bathroom and gone home. in fact i did that over something, left school. cramps or something. and i was one of the goody good students. didn't even think about going to call my parents.

    1. Good point, Kris. It just plain wouldn't have happened in my school either. Common sense would prevent it.

  2. My daughter has a medical problem (spastic bladder), and STILL gets refused to leave the classroom to use the bathroom. She does know that I will back her up 100% if she has to leave class to pee.

    Maybe this girl is ultra-compliant and has been taught that you obey your elders, no matter what...?

    1. Jello, that's appalling. I've never told a student he or she couldn't use the bathroom. That's one reason this whole story is ridiculous.

      And it's scary to think a 14-year-old would be that compliant, but it seems to be the case. Difficult as it is (ask me! I know!) to have an ultra-non-compliant daughter, I'd prefer that to a daughter who would allow a teacher to shame her like that. She obviously is and will continue to be a victim in this situation.