Wordless Wednesday: Penis Finger

(Source: news.bme.com/2008/02/20/phallic-amputated-finger-tattoo)

Wordless Wednesday is supposed to be wordless.

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(These dots indicate I'm holding my breath.)

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I'm trying really hard ......................

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...................... sigh

Epic fucking fail. I can't do it. I have to say something. But just to show I have some class discipline, I'll stop at three, tiny bulleted points. Just three. For me, that's almost wordless.

• I would never have seen this photo of a penis head tattooed onto an amputated finger if my son Drake hadn't insisted we all -- his SO Montana, his friend J, and I -- look at it on his phone screen while we were eating brunch a couple of weeks ago. Anybody who knows me knows I have an amputation phobia. For reasons. I have stories. But that's not even the point. The point is that you don't show a poorly executed 1/2 penis-finger next to a mouth that looks like it has fleas to your mother while she's eating. You shouldn't even have your phone out while you're brunching with your mom, am I right?

But since I did see it, I really must say ....

• Why would he tattoo a penis head on his finger anyway? Is this one more sexual imbecile who thinks the way to a woman's orgasm is through her vagina? Because I could understand if he had a tongue tattooed on his finger. Or even a finger tattooed on his finger. But this just makes me think he's another loser who couldn't wait to fingerbang his first girlfriend when he was 15 and never realized she spent the next 3 years thinking something was wrong with her because she was pretty sure she didn't have an orgasm in spite of his energetic youthful probing. This penisfinger, I suspect, is one of those guys who goes at the lady bits like a blind man feeling an elephant and never does figure out the bigger picture. Too bad he's got so much company in fumble-finger land. I'm not naming names, but you know who you are.

And

• What? One micro-penis wasn't enough for this guy?

Bonus 4th bullet!

• This is all Obama's fault. ALL OBAMA!

OK, I have so much more I could say, but I've already totally ruined Wordless Wednesday. That doesn't mean you can't leave comments right down there .... scroll down ..... there! (I'll even make an exception and turn on anonymous comments for a few days.)

What do you think of when you see the amputated penis finger? Does this young man make his mama proud?