Sweet potato hash

I'm brain-burnt crispy from rating creative writing audition stories while sitting in the stench of unrelenting dog farts with Chopin on Pandora and a fireplace burning on Netflix.

My attempt last night to raise a conversation about autocunnilingis raised instead the sound of crickets, as one loyal reader predicted it would. The one reader who responded has devoted her life to the female orgasm, so you should check out her website Sex, Science and the Ladies. I will be writing a review of her documentary by the same name one of these nights.

But tonight, I'm feeling neither angry nor clever nor particularly interested in sex. Simon, my imaginary boyfriend (more on him later this week), has gone to bed, and my muse Dolores fell asleep somewhere around the 17th audition story. So tonight you get a recipe for crack sweet potato hash.

I'm not sure where I first found this recipe, but it really doesn't matter because hash is hash is hash, and I've migrated so far from the original it's not even the same recipe now. I will warn you that this hash gets rave reviews even when I burn it. It's just that good. Try it.

Sweet Potato Hash

Ingredients

• one large or a couple smaller sweet onions, halved and sliced thin
• butter and or olive oil
• 3-5 sweet potatoes, cubed (how hungry are you?)
• a pound of sausage (I use sweet or mild Italian, but you can use hotter if you like. Or you can use a sagey country-style sausage. Whatever you like will work.)
• garlic, chopped or mashed (choose how much you like)
• rosemary, chopped fine (fresh is best, 4 sprigs; dried is OK in the winter, 1 heaping tablespoon)
• salt and pepper
• eggs

(photo: thefitfork.com)

1. In a large skillet, saute the onion slices in olive oil and butter with a little salt over low heat for about half an hour. Yep, I said 30 minutes. They should be mushy and brown and caramely. Don't worry if they seem watery at first and don't rush them.

2. Chop up the sweet potatoes into half-inch or so cubes, put them in a big bowl and mix in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil, the garlic, rosemary, and some salt and pepper.

3. Brown and crumble the sausage in another skillet or pan until it's not quite cooked through. Stir it into the sweet potatoes.

4. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

5. When the onions are caramelized, add them to the sweet potato mixture and spread it all out on a foil-lined cookie sheet. Stick it into the oven for about 20 minutes or until the sweet potatoes are soft. Stir a couple of times so the sausage doesn't burn. (I speak from experience.) Salt to taste after it comes out of the oven.

6. Just before the sweet potato mixture comes out of the oven, melt some butter in the skillet over medium heat. It's OK to use the dirty skillet from the onions. Once the butter is melted and just starting to brown, crack in a couple of eggs for each person you're feeding. Cook until they're either sunny-side up (you can cover the pan with foil for the last minute to cook the tops) or over-easy. They're best if they're runny.

7. Spoon some sweet potato mixture on a plate and top with a couple of eggs. I like to serve this with sliced oranges, buttered cranberry English muffins when they're in season, coffee, and cold glasses of whole raw milk. Some people might want to add hot sauce. Go ahead if you want to ruin it.

How good is this shit, you ask? Well, it has become my daughter-in-law's birthday request. And we've also eaten it for a couple of Christmas breakfasts. I served it for brunch after a slumber party with some girlfriends a couple of months ago, and they all ate way more than they wanted to. Everybody who's eaten it will vouch that this is some delicious shit. It takes an hour or so to make, but it's worth it.

Note: If you don't like sweet potatoes, you could use regular white potatoes instead. One of my slumber party guests doesn't like sweet potatoes, but she did like this, so don't assume anything. This isn't your mother's marshmallow-topped sweet potato casserole.

Let me know if you try it and what you think. Otherwise, you'll just have to get yourself invited to my house for brunch some day, because this will probably be on the menu.