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I kind of hate to write this because I don't want to give cunnilingus a bad name, because the word itself already sounds like somebody hacking up a hairball but a reader posted this link to my Facebook wall today. It's a Huffington Post article about Michael Douglas, who claims he got throat cancer from the HPV virus, a virus he contracted through the cunnilingual act. Not smoking. Not drinking. Not giving blow jobs (although he gave a persuasive, if creepy, performance in HBO's recent movie about Liberace, Under the Candelabra). Cunnilingus. (He's a gentleman so he calls it that.)
Way to take one for the team, Michael Douglas.
Of course neither cancer nor murder by cunnilingus is really funny. I'm certainly not laughing. Actually even though National Masturbation Month is over, I'm thinking about Michael Douglas going down ..... Oh, are you still reading? Nevermind.... What I meant to say was who knew eating pussy was such a dangerous act? I've certainly never known anyone to suffer any ill effects from dining down there in my 5-star restaurant. Have you?
So even if a couple of men have experienced less than savory experiences, I say we all keep that to ourselves, so as not to scare away any potential lady-bit nibblers, K? K.