I will not talk about poo....and that's final!

Miss Serendipity just will not stop. I'll let this "coincidence" speak for itself, but first let me summarize the story so far. A couple of days ago I wrote about having commented on another blog that I never talk about masturbation in my classes, and the very next day I held classes, I ended up talking about masturbation in one of them. In the comments of my post, Laura from Autodidacticpoet, wrote that she talks about masturbation to little boys all the time, and further that she's had to learn what coprophagia is. (Don't ask. It has to do with poo and that's all you need to know.) She said at least my students wouldn't talk about that, and I said they could very well talk about 2 girls and a cup someday. (It has to do with poo and that's all you need to know.)

In the meantime I've been working on a post in which I defend my decision to become an art model. One of my notes reads: "The monkeys in my brain throw some mighty toxic poo. And this past spring and summer they found a new supplier who gifted them with armor-piercing poo." I wrote that Monday.

OK, that's the story so far......

Here's what played out in today's class.

Me: Something blah blah blah about citing your sources blah blah blah and make sure you engage your sources blah blah blah blah.....(I don't really remember what led up to this, so work with me.)

K: (Feet up on her desk; cute black glasses and bright red lipstick and a bob with bangs.) ... Like how we all used to be monkeys.

Me: Humans didn't really used to be monkeys, you know. You know that, right?

K: Well, sure, we didn't personally used to be monkeys.

Me: No, humans didn't evolve from monkeys. You guys all know that, right? We evolved from common ancestors that weren't anything like monkeys or humans.

K: Yeah, I knew that, but there were monkeys that evolved into humans but it was a long time ago.

Me: Well....no, that's not really how evolution works, but I'm not here to teach you biology. (And I turned my back to walk back to my desk. I should know better than to turn my fucking back on them.)

L: (Remember him from the masturbation post? The wanker?) Who doesn't want to be a monkey? Don't you want to be a monkey?

Me: (I quickly face the classroom, but it's already too late.) No, we're not talking about monkeys today... (The truth is, I was afraid he was going to talk about monkeys masturbating. Miss Serendipity is so much more complex than that though.)

L: You have to want to be a monkey. Monkeys get to swing through the trees...

Me: No more monk....

L: And monkeys get to throw poo. How much fun would that be? To throw poo? (The class laughs. I stand defeated before them.)

Me: L, I knew you were going to say "poo" today.

K: How could you know he was going to say "poo"?

L: Is it because I talked about masturbation?

Me: I not only knew you would say "poo," I blogged that you brought up masturbation and then I said it was possible you would talk about poo. Just so you know, we are not going to talk about poo today.

L: How could you know I would say "poo"? Are you psychic?

Me: No, I'm not psychic. Let's just say I've read ahead in the book.

Isn't she clever, Miss Serendipity? Just as smooth as that, she connected two dots at once. I was impressed. In fact, I was so blown away, I put my class into groups and had them work while I read a newspaper someone had left behind on my desk. I had nothing else to offer them today.

Monkey poo.  Fling it, Miss S! Fling that shit!