Day 6: In which Donald doesn't help

Tonight I'm following up on my post about my airline ticket fiasco the other day. I received a message back from USAA. Here, I'll let you read it.

Dear Ms. [Reticula],

I have received your message concerning your purchase of airline tickets. I understand the credit card information was entered incorrectly and I would like to provide you some information.

First and foremost, I apologize the system error you received did not specify what exactly the issue was, as 'our system has experienced an issue' certainly seems like it was related to the site and not the card information. Furthermore, I am sorry to hear the ticket prices climbed quite a bit by the time you were able to call in to determine what the problem was. I will be passing this information on to the Voice of the Member Team in a effort to communicate this concern to the provider of the website you were using. It is my hope they will make the necessary changes to make error messages more detailed so a situation similar to yours can be avoided in the future. I understand there are several different ways you could have spent the money rather than paying the higher price for the tickets and for the frustration that could have potentially been avoided.

If you have questions, please reply to this message, live chat with us or call us at 210-531-USAA (8722), our mobile shortcut #8722 or 800-531-8722.
 

USAA is here to ensure that we protect your financial security. Please let us know if we may provide any further information or assistance.

Thank you,
Donald C****

My first thought is that Donald needs to take an introductory business writing class. Or any kind of writing class whatsoever. 

My second thought is that they should hire me to write these letters, because I've taught business writing. My response would have been, "Fuck that, Reticula. You should raise holy hell over that shit. Let me give the number for the CEO's private line. He needs to hear about this!"

My third thought is that this is the most awkward attempt at empathy I've ever seen, and not even an attempt at resolving my issue. Guess what I can buy with bad empathy? Not a damn thing.

And my fourth thought is that USAA didn't do fuck all to ensure the protection of my financial security. In fact, in case Donald forgot by the time he got to that line in his letter, they lowered my financial security by $280.00. I could have bought the new laptop I need with that amount of financial security. Oh, but wait. Donald said he understood I could have used that money for something else. Oops. That's a relief.

I haven't replied to Donald's letter. I'm afraid I would scald him, so I'm waiting to cool down. It's been a day and a half so far. I'm not there yet.

One thing I hate is false sympathy. I don't think empathy can be faked, so I'll call this sympathy. Like when somebody acts concerned about your feelings when they're the ones who caused your hurt feelings in the first place, and they aren't willing to do what is necessary to fix what they did. Or when they say, "I understand" when they don't fucking understand at all, because they don't know you.

I don't need Donald's sympathy, and his understanding obviously isn't going to resolve my problem. And I don't give a shit whether their contractor fixes their website, because I won't be using it again. That's not a resolution to my problem, and my problem is all I care about.

I honestly didn't think anything would happen. I've already bought the tickets, and they are non-refundable. Either we fly or  we don't, but they've got my money either way. It's probably not poor Donald's fault, so I probably shouldn't just copy this and send it to him. Right?

I should say this is the most awkward message I've ever received from USAA, and usually their customer service is excellent. They were so helpful when I wrecked my van and had no idea what to do. And their rates are below anybody else's, probably because they serve military personnel and dependents, and we're pretty good about paying our bills.

Donald though. He doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of them. So I'll call it anomaly, just one more act in this shit show. And when I fly, I'll insist on extra pretzels. That will show them!