Monday, October 24, 2011

Mom? Is that you standing naked in front of my class?

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2321375
 
Miss Serendipity must love me in spite of my bucket list resistance. Or maybe she's trying to show me I really do have a bucket list that I need to take charge of. Occupy the bucket list, if you will.

Remember I wrote last week about living on Wisteria Lane? Get this! In tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives Susan, who is taking a fine art class, was unexpectedly confronted with a live, nude model. And then because she giggled the instructor told the class they'd have to work in nude so they could get rid of their inhibitions, but that's not the reticulation here.

The reticulation is that I have committed to being a live, nude model for a friend who is an art professor! For his class. I couldn't do it this quarter because we were both teaching M/W/F classes, but next quarter I've been unexpectedly assigned the coveted T/Th classes. So I'm going to get my background check and stand in front of a bunch of art students dressed only in my skin* and I'm going to tell you right now the whole thing scares the shit out of me ..... and that's why I'm going to do it.

Mark assures me I won't look like a freak--or at least he implied I won't be the most freakish model he's used before. I am a little afraid I'll remind the students of their mothers, but they're adults. They know where to find a therapist. And it's not as if I am their mother. I'll just be a naked middle aged woman who doesn't have any clothes on. That's all.

As the actual .... event ... looms closer, I'm sure I'll find all kinds of things to panic about: shaving, cellulite, what if one of my current or former or future students is in the class. OMG! What if one of my current, former or future students sees me naked!?!?

Oh, but Miss Serendipity wants me to get back to the topic: her. My life on Wisteria Lane**. I wonder what could happen next. Lynette Scavo wants to get laid. Gabby Solis is the head of the PTA. And Bree Van de Kamp is working in a soup kitchen. Yeah, let's go back to Lynette Scavo. I hope she gets a cookie, and I don't mean from the soup kitchen. Are you listening, Miss Serendipy?

Of course I will report later on the modeling. How difficult can it be to stand naked in front of a classroom full of strangers? At least they'll pay attention to me, which is more than some of my students do.

I have been reticulated again. It tickles and delights me. And maybe makes me look a little insane .... like I give a fuck. I can't decide whether to post photos of some of the product. I hear the students sometimes gift the model with drawings. What do you think?

* No saggy, baggy elephant jokes please. My self esteem is particularly fragile right now.
** Still not writing about the dead body. Suck it.

15 comments:

  1. As a former art student who drew many nude and almost nude models (men wore jock strapes back in the day), it becomes very unsexy and normal to see a nude up there. If you have cellulite, sag, wrinkles - anything different from the usual 20 year old model it's GREAT! so much more interesting that way. Jim (my husband) modeled for my class a few times. He wasn't my husband at the time, just my true love. If it's in the middle of the semester they should be over the shock or giggle stage. How unart-student like - to giggle at a nude model. Like a doctor doing his first exam would giggle. tut tut.

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  2. I can totally hear Hot For Teacher by Van Halen playing in the background of some art students mind when they find themselves in your class.

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  3. Kristin, if somebody giggled, I'd probably run out and never take my clothes off again--even in front of myself. But I really do follow these experiences as a way of busting down my ego or inhibitions or whatever you want to call it. I'm way over to the right on the modesty scale, so it's going to be a stretch. A big stretch.

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  4. Awww, Vapor, that's sweet. It made me laugh, but it's sweet.

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  5. Moominlight sent me (she's my Dearest - and I'm her DH). Great post (I need to look at more of your blog). As for the modeling - what Kristin said. I've drawn many different models by this point, and the age and physical characteristics of every one of them has been different (and fascinating to draw), from young college students to men and women in their 60s, from almost alarmingly thin to quite generously curved. What makes students/artists take notice, actually, is not so much the body but the pose. If you want to inspire them, you might want to do a little bit of research and think about challenging or interesting poses. You can get ideas from www.posespace.com, a site that features high quality photograph sets for artist use. Like acting or dance, posing is about making your body be about something (particularly for the short poses, where you can do something more intense because you only hold it for 2 minutes, or 5 minutes) - all the way out to your fingertips and toes. Further info on my blog, where I talk about the experience from the artist's perspective - www.colorsweettooth.blogspot.com. Just look for the Life Drawing posts. Looking at your post and humor, I'd bet you'll give that class their time and money's worth. And I admire your guts - I can draw the nude, but I'd never be able to get up there myself.

    One last item - a lovely blogger who illustrates her posts has created an illustrated story about her experience as a nude model. http://www.adventuresink.blogspot.com/ Scroll down to the second post from the top, "The Art Class."

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  6. Dude. I think this is amazing and fantastic in a way I can't even articulate. I envy the way you are able to push and stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. That's a talent that doesn't get enough recognition. I look forward to hearing how it goes--I hope it is every bit as empowering as I want it to be for you.

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  7. practicing some one minute poses it a great idea. and some others. it'll probably make you feel more relaxed if you go in with a plan.
    wish i could drop in and draw you. i know you will be great!

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  8. Welcome, Steve. And thanks a bunch for the advice and references. I had no idea I needed to prepare for my modeling gig, but now I will. I've never done drawing with a live model myself so I'm going into this innocent as .... well, innocent as I can be.

    I really hope at least one student will give me a drawing, but I'm not sure if I want to look at what they draw. Do the models usually see the drawings?

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  9. When I was taking classes there would be a break at some point and the model could walk around and look at the works in progress. you could put on something at that point, a robe or something.

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  10. A-poet, I do some crazy shit in an effort to mow down my demons. I realized after I got some feedback about my plan to model that I need to explain this some more. I've had a post running around my head like a rabid raccoon all day, but no time to sit and write it.

    I hope it's empowering too. Or at least not traumatic!

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  11. Kristin, I wish you could drop in and draw too. I wouldn't mind that a bit. It does help to get some advice here about things usually go. I'll be taking all this support with me when I go in there and drop my robe.

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  12. What a totally awesome addition to your accidental bucket list!

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  13. MsS, it certainly has awesome potential. I won't know until at least January how it turns out.

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  14. Reticulata, models have certainly come round to look at the drawings during the breaks. Some are more bold about this than others - and some artists are more comfortable with it than others. I think it's enlightening and positive for all concerned, myself.

    And the robe... When a model recently came over to look at my drawing and she had not donned a robe first, I realized that up there she was the model, but over here beside me looking at the drawing, though it was all quite innocent and relaxed, she was now a naked young woman. The robe would have been a good thing. Just one artist's perspective - experiment with this as you see fit...

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  15. Walking around the room nude is definitely not something I'd feel comfortable doing. I think it could be quite off-putting, in fact. Social mores and all that.

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