Monday, November 28, 2011

Nov 28: You've got a nipple where?

I'm cutting it very close to the deadline with the blog posts this week. Next year I'll know to have a few in reserve. The response to yesterday's tarot post has been greater than I expected, so I've spent a good part of today scheduling readings and even doing one this evening after theater rehearsal. I'm not only flattered--because I did, after all, admit that I'm a charlatan and I don't believe in this shit--that people are willing to put their faith in me and my 78 cards for a half hour or an hour, I'm also happy for my vagina.

Yes, this will help to pay for my surgery. As you know, because I wrote about it here, my poor, rusted-out vagina is up on blocks in my front yard. It needs rejuvenating and it needs it now. Everything I make from my tarot reading will go not to my children's and my grandchild's Christmas, but to the reparation of my lady parts. Think how really fucking charitable you would feel if you could put your donations toward such a good cause. (Subliminal suggestion: click the Paypal donate button.....)

But speaking of repairs, did you know nipples can grow in places other than chests? I did not. First the vaginas, now the nipples. I leave you tonight with this story about a young woman who has a nipple on her foot. On her foot!

It makes the mind reel, doesn't it? What would that feel like? Does it link straight to the lady parts like a chest nipple does? In other words, if someone plays with it, does she get horny? Does it get hard in the cold? Is it legal for this young woman to go barefoot? If her shoe falls off would we call it a wardrobe malfunction and censor her foot on TV? Don't you want to play with it? I do. Well, really. Who can resist a nipple?

If you had a nipple on your foot would you have it removed?

Coda: If any of my readers has a foot fetish, can you tell us if the addition of a nipple to a foot is a turn-on? Thank you.


  1. Gives a whole new meaning to playing "footsie", doesn't it?

  2. LOL It sure does. Isn't it amazing how different a nipple looks when it's not on a breast where it belongs?

  3. ... and a whole new sub-genre for toe sucking foot fetishists.

  4. One of my Facebook friends reposted this and then we had quite a long conversation about it. I said a foot fetishist would love this, but then we decided maybe not, because a nipple doesn't really go on a foot. And someone with a foot fetish loves feet not nipples. Now I'm not so sure this would appeal to someone with a foot fetish.

    The best I can hope for is that a foot fetishist will come along and enlighten me. And to that end, I'm going to add a coda to this post asking the question. (I'm too damn lazy to go out and find someone with a foot fetish and ask. I have ticklish feet and all the talk about this post has been making me squirmy anyway. I'd rather talk about my vagina.)

  5. You either become more punctual or I'll continue to read regardless.

  6. Thor, you just want to make sure I get your one-liners right. ;-)