Monday, July 4, 2016

Day 4: Coralineisms #1776

I decided I'd let Coraline write tonight's post. We didn't get home until almost midnight from the last of the weekend's 4th of July parties, and I'm not going to last until 4:00 am tonight. For those of you who are new readers, 1st, welcome. And 2nd, every once in a while I post a selection of what I call Coralineisms, cute or witty things my granddaughter Coraline said to me recently during one of our conversations. Oh, to live again in the mind of a 4-year-old.

1. As we’re walking to a neighborhood meeting, we pass a man walking the other direction. He’s probably in his 70’s. I’ve never seen him before. He says hi; we say hi. We walk on.

Coraline, in a loud voice: He seemed like a nice man.

Me: Sure. He seemed nice enough.

Coraline, in a louder voice: Maybe you could date him.

Me: I don’t date.

Coraline: Yes, but maybe you could date him, I mean.

Me: No.

Coraline: Why?

Me: Just no.

Coraline: But why?

Me: (Long pause) Because I said so.

Coraline: He did seem like a nice man though. He said, "Hi."

Me: That's how it always starts.

2. We’re watching the finale of The Great British Baking Show. One of my celebrity crushes, Paul Hollywood, starts talking on the screen.

Me: Oh my god. He is so cute. (I lose myself in his gorgeous blue eyes.)

Coraline: Who is he?

Me: Somebody unattainable, but terribly hot. Just a guy on TV, in other words.

Coraline: Are you going to send him some texts?

Me: I don’t think he’d appreciate that much.

Coraline: You could send him just one text.

Me: No.

Coraline: But why?

Me: (Long pause) Because I said so.

3. Coraline draws a princess on a post-it note and holds it out to me.

Coraline: Here. This is ready.

Me: What do you want me to do with it?

Coraline: I'm ready to photoshop her.

4. Coraline holds out her notebook to show me a page.

Coraline: Look! There's a fairy in this notebook. I didn't draw it.

Me: Might be one of mine. Did I draw it?

Coraline: Maybe. It looks bad enough.

5. Coraline puts her notebook into my hands.

Coraline: Please draw me a queen.

Me: No, you've already said I'm not good at drawing queens. I don't want to draw a bad queen.

Coraline: I don't care if it's bad. Just PLEASE draw me a queen. PLEASE?

Me: Fine. Don't tell me if it's bad. (I draw a queen. It's not good, but it's not my worst.)

Coraline: This queen is a violin player. She needs a violin.

Me: Why don't you draw the violin? She can hold it with her left hand. (I point it out.)

Coraline: (sighing) OK, fine. I'll draw it. But I decided she's a flute player instead.

Me: You're a cheater.

Coraline: I know.

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