Saturday, November 22, 2014

Why are people laughing at Louis CK?

I love Louis CK. He can say the sharpest, most insulting, and yet brutally honest words, and people still laugh at what he says. He's showing them their dirty underwear, and they laugh at their stains and poop tracks with him. Because he really does call out the worst behavior, and still people think he's hilarious. That's the beauty of irony, and he is the master. It's funny .... but not really.

Take this video of him talking about dating.

He's brutal, and he's dead right about all of it. He talks about how people like to tell single people, "There's someone for everyone." Do you know how many times I've heard that? Always well intentioned, and I certainly take it that way even though I'm not blind. I see all the smart, attractive single women out there who will never find a mate. I love that my friends think I'm worthy of a happy, healthy relationship, but as LCK says, "Nope. Not at all true. And stop sayin' it because it's mean to people who never find anybody." The audience laughs. Probably because they're all there with their husbands, wives, partners or dates. It's easy to laugh at people who are "lightspeed ugly and nobody kisses them on the lips even." Hilarious, isn't it? His solution is that people who feel sorry for the uglies could "find one and fuck them tomorrow ..."

And there we go: from dating to fucking in under a minute. Just like a man. More on that.

He talks about how people don't fuck down. Only up and sideways. About that, he's wrong. He does say some women fuck down because men persuade them that they, the men, are really ups. But that's not why so many women fuck down. First, we've been told, and we tell ourselves, that we're way further down than we really are. That we don't deserve better. Second, women have to choose from the available pool of men 20+ years older than them who are willing to date them .... much less fuck them. Third, economics. How many dumpy old men do you see with much younger wives teetering on heels and dressed in clothes from Forever 21 hanging on their arms? A lot. Go to an expensive fundraiser and check that shit out.

His main point though is how much courage it takes for a woman to say "yes" to a man when he asks her out, and he nails that one too. (I know somebody with a penis will make the argument that it's just as hard to be a man, and they're the ones who have to do the asking and risk rejection, and my reply is that you'll just have to stand in line behind date rape, cheaters, emotionally unavailable assholes who would prefer to just borrow some tits and a vagina for the night ... I could go on. Being the one who asks isn't the worst thing that can happen. Neither is being told no, as long as you accept it and don't act like an asshole about it.)

I notice LCK isn't laughing. He smiles a few times, but he knows this shit is serious. Maybe the audience does too; maybe their laughter is their way of agreeing and shaking their heads. For those of us who have been discouraged out of the dating pool -- and who don't want those pity fucks he talked about, thank you -- it's not really funny. It's painful. When he says it's dangerous for women to say "yes" to a date, he's not kidding. I'm not sure why that's funny, and I suspect he knows it's not. Dating is dangerous on both an emotional and physical level. The physical we all know about. Men are bigger than women.

The emotional is just as disheartening. I will never go on a date again without expecting that my date will either break the news that he's married (but his wife won't fuck him, so it's her fault he's cheating) or has a girlfriend. And if he doesn't confess, he's lying. And when I finally call him out on it weeks later, his reaction will probably be anger, because he got caught. 

In my experience, women need courage whether they say "yes" or whether they say "no." It can easily turn nasty either way.

LCK's final bit is probably the most disturbing part of this video though. (And let me restate that I love this video. I just don't find it particularly humorous. Ironic, yes.) The worst part is when he describes the difference between the woman and the man on a first date. He says they're walking along, and she's trying to make a connection with her date, and her date is a "blind dick in space just thrusting in independent directions hoping to find pay-dirt."

Wow. This is why she got a mani/pedi, waxed, shaved, plucked, curled, straightened, slathered makeup, bought a new outfit, forced her feet into high heels, tried to lose 5 pounds in 2 days, sneaked a look at Cosmopolitan in the checkout line, made sure at least 2 friends knew where she was going and were on call for check-ins so they could call the police if she didn't text from the lady's room, let hope into her heart ..... This is why she did all that? So he could blindly thrust his penis around in space until it fell into her vagina?

If that's what it's like on Mars, I'm happy to stay here on Earth ... except that the Martians are running the show here too. Check out straightwhiteboystexting if you don't believe me.

I don't think he even realizes he's fallen into the same trap a lot of people do: he's confused dating with fucking. It's hard not to, when half the world's population wants to fuck, and the other half wants to date ... or at least date first.

The real reason I love Louis CK so much is because he's a man, and he gets it. He fucking gets it, and he lays all that cynical bullshit out there. His bit on rape jokes is brilliant. I'm not saying I don't know any men in real life who don't get it. My son does. He's been my white knight in quite a few disturbing Facebook conversations of a feminist nature. I have a few male friends who understand, and can articulate their understanding.

I sometimes think I shouldn't write about dating. First, because I don't do it. It's hard to keep trying when every time I dip my toe into the dating pool I touch a turd. And second, because anything I have to say sounds just as cynical as Louis CK -- only he makes it funny -- and I hate that reality is reality and neither I nor Louis CK will change it by calling it out.

And yet as cynical as I am, I still have a bit of hope the size of a flu virus that someday I'll sit here at my elderly snail of a computer and tell you I was wrong. I hope I'll be the one assuring my single friends that there's somebody out there for everybody. (OK, I'm never going to do that.) I doubt my immune system is going to let that virus live much longer, but we'll see.

Click on more Louis CK videos. He's a worthy waste of time.

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