Sunday, August 21, 2011

Late Night Phone Call

Most people know I'm a night person and I don't mind late phone calls although I might cut a bitch who calls me early in the morning I prefer not to get early morning calls. But people rarely call after midnight unless there's a crisis. Or unless somebody wants some food delivered. There used to be, in our fair city, a service that would pick up orders from a limited list of restaurants and deliver to private homes for a small fee. I tried to use them a couple of times and they were always backed up for hours. Kind of defeated the purpose. Here's a sample of one of my late night delivery calls, which happened to take place tonight.

Phone rings. Number is a cell phone that isn't in my phone memory, but my kids sometimes call me on borrowed phones so I answer.*

Me: Hello?
Guy: Hello?
Me: Hey, that's what I said.
Guy: Huh?
Me: That's what I just said too.
Guy: Huh?
Me: I said "Hello" and then you said "Hello" too.
Guy: Oh....uh....yeah. I did. Is this the delivery service?
Me: No, it is not.
Guy: Oh....uh....I must have dialed the wrong number. I got it off the internet.
Me: No, it's the right number. They went out of business years ago.
Guy: they went out of business and you got their number?
Me: Yes.
Guy:  Oh, so people get your number off the internet and call you late at night and ask you to deliver food to them?
Me: And other times of the day.
Guy: Wow. Dude, that sucks. I'm really sorry. Uh....yeah. I'm sorry I called you so late.
Me: It's OK. It happens fairly often.
Guy:  Wow. OK, I won't call again.
Me: OK, that works for me.
Guy: Have a good one then.
Me: Thank you. You have a good one too.
Guy: Bye now.
Me: Bye......sigh.

Remember, dear readers, the Internet is a permanent record.

* OK, I confess. I would answer anyway because have you noticed people don't make obscene phone calls any more? They don't! I miss the entertainment value of obscene phone calls. I guess caller ID and readily available internet porn have taken the fun out of random stranger harassment porn calls. I'm waiting in vain for a nostalgic heavy breather.....


  1. Wow. I hadn't noticed, but I think you're right. Obscene phone calls have disappeared from the culture, the same as real telephone booths.
    The lack of real telephone booths means nowhere for superheroes to change. Not sure what the lack of obscene phone calls means.

    I know of a couple of other "wrong number" middle of the night call stories.
    My Dad's phone number is one digit different form the local police, and in such a way that a hand written number can easily be misread as his. He has had arguments with people in the middle of the night, including one guy who was looking for his daughter and was infuriated that my father wouldn't tell him whether she was in jail.
    The other story is an old friend whose number was very similar to one for an "escort service" that was advertised on late night TV. He would get calls nearly every night, and most of the time, talk to them, ask what kind of escort they wanted (blonde? Asian?) and assure them she was on her way. Of course, "she" would never show up. There's more to this story, but it may not be a good idea to post it publicly. Suffice to say, this friend was very entertained by this happenstance on more than one occasion.

  2. Oh, I'd love to hear more of the story. I think you should tell it. It's anonymous.

    My current phone number also belonged to a couple who must have skipped out on all their bills and student loans. I got more calls for them than for me the first few months I lived here, and most of them were those annoying bots who insist you have to call back an 800 number. Those finally stopped after I called back the credit bureaus and told them to stop calling.

    I've also asked the websites that advertise the delivery service to take my number down, but that hasn't worked. It would be much more fun to get calls for an escort service though. Why couldn't I have gotten that story? :-/

  3. I could start writing your number on the wall in the men's room if you'd like...

  4. That's another thing you don't see much of anymore .... not MY number in particular, but phone numbers on bathroom walls. Or maybe I don't frequent the right bathrooms.

  5. I'm thinking you miss at least half of them...