Friday, November 16, 2012

November 16: I've had enough of this shit

This whole poop thing is like the Blob. It just keeps growing and growing, and rolling along like a big sticky turd. I said I was done talking about poop, and it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

One friend -- let's call him Angry Badger -- posted a series of photos of his visit to a local waste water treatment plant or, as he calls it, the poop factory, today. He tagged the following photo with my name, so it came up in my feed as "Angry Badger posted a photo of you." A photo of me? Really?

Poop pit. Is that steam rising?

That's not all. Another friend posted an article on my Facebook wall titled "Everybody Poops, So Why Do So Many Women Avoid Going at Work?" You can read it for yourself. It says something about pooping feeling like getting a cookie, which is total bullshit. I suspect if you think taking a shit feels like an orgasm you might need to spend some time with the old clitoris and see if you can't induce one of those "ah ha" moments. I pity the woman who can't distinguish between a cookie and a dump.

And then later tonight I checked in on Facebook and reported I was playing pool with my friend Trick Shot. And somebody else commented, "I'm sorry but I totally read this as 'Poo!'" Ha! Ha!

OK, I really did laugh, but it was an uncomfortable, "oh my god, is poop going to be the theme for the rest of my life?" sort of laugh.

I simply can't get away from this shit. But the most bizarre coincidence is that I shared this .... whatever these are called .... on my wall yesterday.


Seriously, I will be reporting some page-turning here soon.

And today when somebody commented on it, I noticed up in the corner that it came from a website with the following address: i-am-poopsie.blogspot.ca. What the fuckety fuck? I'm sure that wasn't there when I posted it yesterday. I call shenanigans.

Tomorrow, I mean it: I'm going to write about Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. There will be no more of this shit tomorrow. It ends today. Friday. End of the shit day.

I mean it. Stop it.

2 comments:

  1. Difficult day today, but this gave me a good ole belly laugh! Thanks. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Awww. I hope things are better now, and I'm glad I could give you a laugh, even if it was a crappy one.

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