Thursday, August 23, 2012

Leaving the ivory tower

I shared on Facebook recently that I won't be teaching this semester at the university where I've been teaching for the past six years. Attendance is down drastically, classes didn't fill up like usual, and adjuncts are the first to go. I'll write more soon about the unethical way colleges exploit adjunct faculty -- the red-headed bastard stepchildren of upper academia -- while paying enormous salaries to administrators. It seems to be one of those topics that is common knowledge among academics, but is a shocking revelation to those who don't frequent ivory towers.


Friends have expressed concern, asked if I'll be OK. I will. I'm looking at options,weighing the benefits and deciding what direction I want to go.

I've already picked up a couple of freelance editing jobs, and I expect I'll find more. I've also done some more tarot readings, and again, I'd like to continue to build that area of my life. I'm considering writing that book I've always wanted to write. If E. L. James could get 50 Shades of Grey published, surely there's a niche out there for me. A number of people have asked if I'd offer writing workshops, so I said hellz yeah. I love teaching writing.

I've also been watching the new season of Weeds learning more about marketing this summer. Entrepreneurism seems like a hot career field these days. It also might be time to monetize my secret sex blog.

And I'm considering whether going the corporate 8-5 route would be a wise move. People who really know me say they can't imagine it. I can't either, but you never know whether something will fit unless you try it on. It's one thing I've never done before.

School starts this Monday, and it feels weird that I'm not tweaking my syllabus, firming up my calendar, preparing lesson plans ...... I'm so used to smelling crayons this time of year.

And it's odd to lose the label. People say you aren't what you do, but it's hard not to wrap your identity up in a neat package papered with whatever it is you do. It does affect how people see me and even treat me when I say "I teach at a university" as opposed to saying, "I'm a stripper" or "I'm a pot dealer" or "I'm the tooth fairy." All the years I homeschooled and then taught college writing, being a teacher was a strong identity. I was proud to say I taught at the university.

One of the games men like to play when they've gotten up the courage to talk to a woman is the "I bet I can guess what you do" game. I've been surprised how many guessed I was an English professor. I'm not sure what the tip-off was. Maybe I need to stop correcting people's grammar before I know their names. I have to wonder though why nobody ever guessed that I was a stripper, but no matter. Some men seem to find teachers hot.


So I'm not a teacher any more. I still have many roles -- mother, grandmother, friend, writer, editor, musician, actor, cyclist, tarot-reader, wedding officiant, woman, person, earthling.... But I'm not a teacher. I have to wonder if people will see me differently now, if they will have less respect for me now that I don't have that job, that title.

And then I think that's silly. The reason I could teach is because of what I'm doing right now. I taught because I can write - I'm a writer. Now I'm looking forward to doing more of what I do, and doing less teaching of what I do.

Have you ever felt defined by a role and then lost it? Have you ever willingly given up a role because you felt it didn't fit you any longer?

15 comments:

  1. You've been teaching me since the moment we met. I can't imagine that's going to change.

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  2. Defined by a role and lost it? Yes. And still sorting through that particular change.

    I agree with Pleased though. :-)

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    1. Thanks, Serenity. I can imagine how hard that change has been, and your strength is inspirational.

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  3. I'm sorry both for you and your students. This is a trite old saying, but I believe it's true that when one door closes another will open for you. You're so intelligent, talented, and imaginative. I believe I'll soon be reading your new book!

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    1. Only if I put my butt in the chair and write it! Thanks for your kind words, Rita. Yes, something new will come into my life now that the space is there.

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  4. Straight out of college, I didn't have a job, and that bothered me a lot. All my friends were older and employed, so I felt embarrassed answering the question "What do you do?" with "I'm temping right now" or "I'm looking for a job."

    I felt so embarrassed, as a matter of fact, that I decided to take any job I could get just so I'd have one. I ended up as a salesperson for a cemetery, and learned that the only thing worse than being embarrassed about not having a job is having a job you're embarrassed to tell anyone about. I quit the sales job to work at the haunted house at Six Flags, and that was one of the best decisions I ever made.

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    1. So you told people you were a professional haunter? Now that's the kind of job I need to find.

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  5. I have a friend who is an adjunct and he usually has to teach at 2 universities, and this year, he is teaching at 3! I can't believe the insanity for him to try and make a living. He is a brilliant man, and a great professor, and the system seems to fail the adjuncts and the students this way. I am sorry for the stress I am sure you feel. I am sorry for your students as I am sure they will miss you and your teaching. I hope this time opens new doors for you. Your tarot readings sound like a great idea and sound like you enjoy them. I used to be an archivist and LOVED my job. After computerizing my job, there was no need for my job. I worked there for 10 years and it really did define me. I let it. I needed a job and now am a receptionist.I didn't have the education to continue my job as now they require degrees etc.. I hear that I am a "receptionist" when others define me, but in the end, It was a good thing as now I have time to do my crafting and art, and even have time to blog. All the best to you!!

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    1. So you're an artist and a writer? I'd take those descriptions. Yes, adjuncts are treated like shit. Most of my former adjunct colleagues teach at two or three other school at the same time. It's crazy. And in an institution that's so big on educating young people about the inequities in the world. I shouldn't get started on the hypocrisy of that.

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  6. Carol, let me know the time, place, and cost of the writing class--I'm there!! I'm serious about this. Just think--teaching a writing class to a group of people who truly want to take the class--how rewarding will that be?!

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    1. I will, Dawn. I'd love to teach to a group of people who all want to be there. What a novel idea.

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  7. What a great way to look at this loss in your life. And good for you for seeing all the other positive things and relationship you have going on. Love that. I think you should definitely write that book. Whatever else you choose to do, write the book too.

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    1. I've wanted to write a book since I was 7. Maybe this is my opportunity to get on that. Thanks for the encouragement.

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