In which I won't be getting a cat: Day 23

This is the cat I won't be getting.
(Photo credit: stolen from Catster)

Elvira: What are you going to name the cat you get after I move out?
Me: I'm not going to get a cat.
Elvira: Yes, you will. You'll get a fancy Maine coon or something like that, and you'll name it some obnoxious name like Hemingway.
Me: I wouldn't get a Main coon. They probably shed too much. I've always loved the American shorthair. That's the only kind I would want .... not that I'm getting one. Also I'm not a big Papa Hemingway fan. I'd probably name it Atwood. Atwood is a good name for a cat. Or Margaret. Either one would work.
Elvira: Margaret is a great name for a cat. You should name the cat you will definitely get Margaret. Oh wait though! I know! I know! You can name it Margaret Catwood. It's perfect.
Me: Clever girl! That is the best name for my cat ever. Margaret Catwood it is. I'm not getting a cat, but if I were to get a cat, her name would absolutely be Margaret Catwood.

I do not intend to get a cat, sweet readers, but if I did, I would not do stupid shit like this to Margaret Catwood.



And I would not make jokes about grabbing her by the short hairs either. She would be dignified and I would respect that. And in return, she would make sure her hairs did not fall out on my furniture and clothes. Also she would scoop her own litter. And she would know in advance not to get on my counters. Is it becoming more clear why I should not get a cat?