Day 23: Weekend Update: Out of wine

The tissue box on my coffee table

I thought about doing one of those "sharing a bottle of wine" posts, but I'm out of Chardonnay. Lucky you. You get to see inside my head after I've had a glass of water to drink.

One of the weird things about writing a blog like mine -- one that has no theme and is rarely updated these days unless it's November -- is that I can never predict which posts will get attention. (The only reason for writing a blog is to get attention. I can't think of any other reason, can you?) About 98% of the time I'm writing after midnight, so I write, revise, edit, and publish all within anywhere from an hour to three hours. I go to bed not knowing what the response, if anything, will be to the piece of my heart I spread on this blank page like peanut butter.

The weird thing is, I can write something I think is brilliant decent. Maybe even better than decent. Something that has several clever plays on words, and a few funny bits, and a touch of poignancy. I pat myself on the back and go to bed to dream of the three comments I'll see under the post when I wake up. In the morning I check my Facebook and the comments here and .... nothing. Not even a like. I have to look out the window and make sure I'm not the last person left alive on Earth. I'm not. 

And then I might write one that I'm afraid sounds like I'm a whiny, insipid bitch and that nobody will read to the end, and much to my surprise that will be the one that strikes a chord with you guys. Like last night's post about mean memes. So far, it's November's most popular post, going by the number of comments. (Most of them are on Facebook so they won't be archived here.)

I don't think that says as much about the post as it does how very sick we all are of the lack of civility in this country, a lot of it driven by what we see on Facebook and what comes out of the White House. It's demoralizing. It wears our skin thin. And yet we don't dare look away ... it's like weighing myself before bed and first thing in morning every single fucking day. I just can't look away.

Several people have asked me how Crow is doing. I wrote about how he injured his leg here. He's better, but he's still limping. He's off his heavy meds and his spirits are good. He keeps sneaking up the stairs when I'm up here at my computer, so he can lay on his bed next to my desk like he's used to. Tonight he got up here and Sassy was on his bed, so he came over to me and begged for pets. He doesn't usually do that, so I petted him, which meant Sassy came over for pets too. As soon as she did, he limped over to his bed and reclaimed it. Pretty tricky.

I think he's going to have to go back to the vet for his constant ear infections though. (I could have bought a Lamborghini with the money I've spent on vet bills for his ear infections. If anybody has a cure for chronic ear infections, please share it.) I'll have the vet look at his leg too. I think it just takes time to heal from an injury like that.

I was listening to the podcast I mentioned in the first post this month, 10 Things that Scare Me. I don't usually pay attention to the ads and announcements, but I finally heard one of the producers say they want people to share their lists on their website and it might end up on the podcast. So I'm going to do that and maybe I'll get on! If you write your own list, you should share it too and let me know.

I've thought about doing a podcast here, but I don't really know how to produce such a thing. And then I thought maybe a vlog, but it would be me sitting in a dimly lit room with the Netflix fireplace playing off to the side, the dog snoring in the background, my face lit by the screen of my little laptop, reading my little post. I dunno. It doesn't sound that appealing to me. Also, what do you look like after midnight? I don't think any of you need to see that.

I'm in the middle of Brittany Runs a Marathon. (See trailer below.) In a minute I'm going to hit publish on this post and watch some more of it until I fall asleep on the couch. I love movies where the fat, lazy, loser girl does something that turns her life around and suddenly she's not a fat loser any more. I guess I still hope I can change the inevitable epitaph on my tombstone. Like I'll write that book or get that cool job or ... hell, I don't even know any more. I'm sure as hell not going to run a fucking marathon. I guess I'll go with finishing that movie and going to bed before 3:00 am.