Day 22: A letter to a mean girl

The other day somebody posted this in a Facebook group for women that I belong to. A group of over 12,000 that exists to support women. Lots of women laughed. Lots of women said they were going to start doing this. Some said they already did do it. One woman said she's going to make a commitment to do it at least once a week. Well, I have something to say to the person who posted it and to all the women who thought it was a good idea.

Unacceptable Schitts GIF from Unacceptable GIFs

I'll start with this disclaimer before I start kicking some ass: Yes, I have real problems. I have real shit to deal with. I probably shouldn't spend my time or my energy giving this another thought. This is why my mom always said I think too much. On the other hand, it pisses me off that mean girls grow up to be mean women, and also I haven't written a rant this month yet, so tonight I'm going to tell you what I think about this shit.

An open letter to anybody who thinks this is funny:

What the fuck is wrong with you? In this scenario we have three women: a woman whom you perceive is rich and snooty; you, the woman who thinks another woman -- a stranger -- is rich and snooty and who furthermore wants to put her in her place; and an unseen woman who works in a grocery store and probably thinks you're pretty snooty yourself.

Let's start with the rich and snooty woman. How the hell can you tell if a woman you don't even know is rich and snooty? By the way she dresses? What if she just came from a funeral? Or a job interview and she really hopes she got the job because they're about to lose their house and she didn't make a point of smiling at your stranger face because she's preoccupied with her own life? What if she just likes to look nice when she goes out? My guess is she's just minding her own fucking business and doesn't even know she's offended you just because you decided she is rich and snooty and will be offended when you ask her where the almond milk is. And my other guess is that you've been watching too much Schitt's Creek, but really, mean girl, what made you decide this particular woman should be the target of your desire for comeuppance?

Can you tell by the items in her cart? Is she buying truffles, $25/pound wild salmon, thick Kobe beef steaks, a case of Champagne .... what the hell do these rich bitches eat that the rest of us don't? And what the hell is in your cart that makes you so fucking proud? I'll tell you what I judge: a cart full of Cheetos and Fruit Loops and hot dogs and Capri Sun and Wonder Bread and Coke and ... Get my drift? But hey. If your cart is loaded down with fresh fruits and vegetables, lean free-range meat, hearty whole grains, and just a bit of slave-free dark chocolate, you win a ham sandwich! Judge away.

Maybe you can tell by the obvious Botox in her non-existent frown lines? By the fact that her face doesn't move even when you ask her where the toothpaste aisle is, even though your entire plan for the day is to fuck with her world? Or maybe her face didn't move because she wasn't offended that you think she works in a grocery store. More on that.

Can you tell by the tiny teacup poodle with a diamond collar in her handbag? By the color of her hair, which looks gorgeous and just a little too natural? The color of her skin? Shall we go there? Yeah, I didn't think so. How the fuck do you tell?

One of my many part-time jobs is to shop for someone who could probably be considered rich at a grocery store where lots of people who are wealthier than I will ever be shop. I have to tell you, I don't even notice if the other women there look rich or not. I couldn't tell you if they're snooty or not either, although I can tell you sometimes one will butt in line at the deli so I assume she's either rude or impervious to my death stare or preoccupied or simply stupid. If I were dressed up for some reason and went there to shop for someone else (for food that I will throw away a week later, but that's another issue), might you think I was rich and snooty? Might you ask me what aisle the tampons are in?

I don't really want to talk about the second woman -- you -- because I don't like you, and I'm giving you more attention than you deserve, and I'm here to talk to your classist ass.

What about the third woman, the woman who works in a grocery store. The woman whose position in life is so low you certainly wouldn't want to be her. I mean, you'll let her ring up your purchases and bag your groceries -- unless she's lost her job because now you're doing all that for yourself. But no. Cashiers and baggers and stockers of shelves still have jobs in grocery stores where rich, snooty women shop. And apparently where you shop. Thank you, Jesus, you don't have to work in a grocery store though, right? You're not rich and snooty, but you're also not .... that poor.

(Ooops. Did I mention I grocery shop for a rich woman? Yeah, most really rich women don't do their own grocery shopping. Snooty or not, they have people who do that for them and it puts food on our tables.)

This reminds me of when men call other men by feminine names. You know, when men call boys "girls" and it's the biggest insult because no guy wants to be a girl. Nobody with a dick should fall so low as to be like a girl. And yet here we have women -- you -- doing it to other women. Pretending an alleged rich and snooty woman is someone who works in a grocery store because you think that's such an insult. Who is the real cunt here?

In conclusion, I think we've determined that the problem is not the alleged rich, snooty woman and it's certainly not the grocery store employee. The problem is you. The problem is that you decided today that you wanted to put someone down because .... I don't know why and I don't give even 1/3 of a fuck really. You've probably got a therapist and you still don't know what makes you happy. Obviously though it makes you feel better to insult two classes of women who never did a damn thing to you and who don't even know you with your stupid meme. Really. Fuck you. Jesus is not on your side here and he didn't even think rich people could get through the eye of a needle.

Schitts Creek GIF from Schitts GIFs

I am not defending rich people. I'm fucking sick of the greedy pigs and I think we should make them pay some taxes -- how about at my rate? -- and then eat them. But this isn't about that. This is mean girl shit that you should have put away in 7th grade. I've always hated this kind of behavior, and I'm embarrassed for you that you still think this is funny. Find another way to "keep things real." Like minding your own fucking business.

This rant has been brought to you by someone who is sick of the lack of civility in this country. Can I get an amen?

Sincerely,
Reticula