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Know what’s hard about making a commitment to write here
every day? I’ll tell you what’s hard about it. Sometimes I’m working diligently
writing other things that don’t fit here or that I’m not ready to publish, and
it’s the last night of spring break, and then the clock passes midnight, and I
realize I haven’t given my attention to my commitment here, and I’m going to
make yet another excuse because that’s what writer’s do best. We make excuses.
Here’s mine.
At the bootcampFriday, I worked on a piece that I’ll post here soon
that’s about bar napkins and rape culture. I just need to finish it.
I also worked on two poems that I wanted to update, because
I’m an idiot. See, I judged at the last poetry slam I went to. I didn’t read or
slam, just gave scores to other poets. The guy who won has hosted poetry slams
for years, and I’ve known him for years, so he knew if he performed my favorite
poem, which is about a pocket pussy*, I’d give him a 10. So he did, and I did, and
he won. Like a dumbass, I told him the next time he slammed in May, I was going
to slam too, and I would kick his ass. I wasn’t even drinking yet. Maybe I bumped up against a testosterone lick
block. I’m not sure why I issued that challenge.
I’ll be honest: my kicking his ass is about as likely as my
getting up the courage to join an online dating site any time soon … No, it’s
less likely. But I opened my big fucking mouth, so I will at least have to take
the mic and try. And that’s why I’m working on spoken word poems instead of
vagina posts lately.
Anyway, I’m happy with the work I did on those two poems at
the bootcamp, and I continued to polish a couple of other poems tonight with
some degree of success. Meaning I think they’re finished … at least until next
time I turn my critical raven’s eye on them. I don’t think they’ll win a slam,
but I don’t think I’ll embarrass myself either. There's no predicting what will happen until the
judges turn their score boards around, but it’s hard to beat a pocket pussy poem.
Also, I’m my own worst critic, so I never know if anything I
write is good or if it’s a shitpile of introspective drivel that has so
contaminated the poor innocent words they can’t ever be recycled, must less
reused.
I do wish working on poetry hadn’t prevented me from writing
the post I intended to write here tonight, because I’m excited about it, because
LISTEN UP! Somebody sent me a Dear
Reticula letter! How fucking cool is that? And it’s about dating, which we
all know I’m a bitter, miserable failure at, but let’s not tell, shall we? Somebody
wants my advice! So tomorrow night, on the last night of March**, I will stop
working on poems and write my one and only reticulated advice column. On
dating, no less. Wait for it.
* I was going to insert a photo of a pocket pussy here, but I googled pocket pussies ... and .... yeah, no. There may be a not-so-hidden metaphor here, but you're on your own if you want to look at photos of pocket pussies.
** I realize I missed about 3 days of writing this month. I
do intend to make up those posts, and that’s no April Fool’s joke.
When I as in college freshman writing class I was taught to not write essays about having to write essays.
ReplyDeleteSorry to disappoint.
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