When I asked what I should write about this month, a significant number of people wanted to know when I was going to get back to 10 Dates, 10 Men. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a party that somebody didn't remind me that I've slacked off on the 10 Dates, 10 Men project ... and I am also reminded every time I subtly deny giving a guy my number that I'm not really pursuing this dating shit very hard.
It's not that I don't want to but .... well, I have reasons. I always have reasons. I suspect they've turned into excuses by now, but semantics don't replace actions.
So tonight I was going to write about that. No, really! I was! I even picked up a book on dating at the library yesterday and skimmed two chapters. I had every intention of writing about it and getting it going and making a fucking commitment! ... But when I started making notes on a big sheet of paper while I watched The Voice, I realized I didn't have my shit together yet ... not enough to write about it.
But I will. I mean, I am .... taking notes, I mean. Looking at it through the lens of my word for the year, unpacking, along with my epiphany about my "5" years, I really have to consider breaking through my resistance to dating.
I've bought the new house, and I'm unpacking it. I started a new job teaching creative writing at a nearby magnet school for the arts. I'm unpacking a new curriculum and leaving behind academia for an entirely new culture in a public school. And it fits me much better than teaching at the university did.
Much as I'd like to avoid it, dating seems like the next thing to unpack ... which may be why I'm unpacking my house so slowly, because I really can't date if I can't bring a guy home with me. I mean, right?
And yet, when it comes to dating, I feel like I'm sitting on a pine cone. It's time to let loose the spring fever and either get a dog (please don't recommend a rescue. I only live with standard poodles) or date somebody.
So I'm working on a post about that and why it's so fucking hard for me .... and yet seems so easy for other people. I still need to unpack 1 of 10, who has been ridiculously resistant to leaving the suitcase.
And I need to lose 20 pounds and get some blonde highlights in my hair, because isn't that what every woman does when she decides to date?
Stay tuned .....