Friday, November 6, 2015

NaBloPoMo Day #6: Best vagina song ever

Tonight I will beg your forgiveness ..... although not 100%, because I'm going to share something really cool with you. So turn up your speakers and stop worrying about whether shit is NSFW unless you're a preschool teacher, because if you work with adults they're all watching the same shit you are on the internet. None of us are that fucking special.

Anyway, All the Sex Monologues happens tomorrow night, and I'm so excited! (Even though people I thought were my friends keep wishing I'd break my leg, or even all the legs, which would totally fuck up my performance because I'm wearing skinny jeans and you can't get those things over a cast .... who started that crazy tradition anyway?) Sorry. I digress.

This is the kind of thing I dreamed about doing when I was a little girl, although I certainly did not know the word "vagina." And you thought I'd been saying it all my life, right? Wrong. I was probably 16 before I knew any words for those "down there" parts, and even then I wasn't sure which words went with which parts .... and what the fuck is a clitoris? Anybody? What does it do? But who gives a fuck now -- can I get an amen? I've more than made up for it. (And I can locate the clitoris on a drawing of the female genitalia, so I win.)

I'm so proud of this performance we're doing. Of course, raising money for Planned Parenthood is the ultimate goal, but I've met some wonderful, talented people, and I've been reminded how much I miss telling a story on stage. I hope PUSH Dayton does this again next year, and I will submit another monologue,  and I will audition, and I will volunteer to put together a band to play and sing this song. Give it a listen, and you'll see what I mean. It's my Reticulated Anthem. Vagina na na na na na na ..... 

Leave a comment please, and tell me how much you love the fuck out of this song. Or volunteer to be in the band. You will be paid in ..... air. Air that you can breathe. Much like most musicians. Do it for the vaginas.

(Note: This video has been taken down and re-uploaded twice since I've posted it here. I think this Facebook link is more stable. You can also see a live version here. So if it's not there when you come to read, try the links in this note. It's definitely worth listening to.)

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